Clah-Clunk

I put the key into the lock, took a deep breath ... and twisted it to the right.  

The clah-clunk of the releasing mechanism announced that I could enter while the smallest of squeaks emanated from the front door when I pushed it open and stepped inside the foyer.  

I was there for one fairly straightforward and simple reason; to make one last walk-through in the house to make sure we hadn't left anything behind before I signed the documents that transferred ownership to the new owners. But, instead....just as quickly as I entered the foyer, grief came tumbling all around me and memories streamed through my mind's eye and I was drenched in sobbing breaths and fast, salty tears that were a torrent down my cheeks.  

I stepped onto the carpeted stairs and moved one slow, heavy foot up the steps in front of the other until I got to our bedroom and stopped.  I stood in the center of the room, admiring the calming celery green color that Mr. Smart Guy had picked for the wall paint, and I listened. 

And ... 

I heard us talking about and praying for our boys over the years.  I heard us maturing and figuring out how to love each other better.  I heard the last conversation we had in this room finalizing the Coastal Craziness plan and how we knew it would be hard but we knew it was the right choice.  

But, as I stood there, I don't think either one of us knew the depths of difficulty and the emotional toll it would take on us.  I closed the doors quietly shut on the room and turned down the hallway.

**sigh**

I went to the laundry room, still able to smell the fresh linen scent and I watched.

I watched Army Guy, in for the weekend from Virginia Tech, grab his clothes off the clothes rack and head off to put them away.  I saw Dan the Man open the dryer in search of his then-favorite shirt at the time to see if it was clean yet so he could wear it.  I heard Theatre Dude yelling from the laundry room to see if I had washed and/or dried all of his guitar picks that might have been in his jeans pocket when I did laundry 'cause he couldn't find any of his picks.  And, I could see each of our puppies on their first day with us and how we lovingly set up their crated homes in the laundry room.  

I stepped outside of the laundry room and stood on the landing and just looked at all of the open bedroom doors and both of the stairways that went downstairs.  None of the rooms were ever just one boys room.  The rooms have always been interchangeable and have morphed into whatever our family needs were at the time.  

And, I saw them become ...

bedrooms, offices, music rooms, guest rooms, reading rooms, foster guy rooms, Katrina family rooms and ... anyone who needed a safe place to stay for the night away from the chaos of their life kinda rooms.  

And, I could feel my heart swell with love for each person that has been in our home.  I pray that their memories of staying here have made a small but lasting difference in their life.

I began to descend the steps into the living room that opened up with the kitchen.  I could already see the many ...

birthday bashes, cancer-free celebrations, chick nights at the house, Prom pictures, Superbowl parties, Smart Guy and his friends discussing their conspiracy theories, the movies we've watched, Homecoming nights, and, most importantly and most heartwarming, the conversations we've had.  The talks of politics and current events and shopping finds and new recipes and cool new bands and rock concerts and heartbreaks and conflict and careers and purity and freedom and boundaries and love and God.

Lastly, I stood in the foyer. I thought about how many times in the past years I had stood in that very spot saying hello or goodbye to people I love. And, even though I was still sobbing, a smile began to emerge on on my face.  

My family has lived a lot of life within these walls.  

I put the key into the lock, took a deep breath ... and twisted it to the left.  

The clah-clunk of the locking mechanism announced that the door was indeed locked and I was no longer permitted to enter.  

And, now it's their house.  

They don't know it but I prayed for them while I walked into each room of the house.  I asked God that he would bless their family with the fullness of love and joy that we have found while we lived here.  I asked that their pantry would always be full and they would not be hungry beyond their means.  I prayed that their children would find friends in the neighborhood and that they would love going to school and learning.  I prayed for the marriage ... that it would only get better in the years that they call this house their home.  

Not so Glamorous

I just wanna rant a little so that I can dispel the myth that my current travel schedule is glamorous...just in case you were thinking that! lol ;)

As I sit in the airport this morning and wait to board my plane, I am keenly aware of the pain involved with flying.  There is a lack of seating that is woefully evident and not accommodating to the mass of travelers in this area.  It's a good thing I got here 2 hours early so that I could get a seat! ;)

Oh, wait...I just had a fabulous idea...."The Spa Spot".  Anyone want to throw in some venture capital monies toward my idea?  It would be a spa setting within the airport where passengers are allowed to peacefully wait for their departing flight at a cost-per-hour fee without:

• Listening to the extremely loud woman who is talking on her cell phone and can be heard by everyone within a 4-block radius.  And...she's totally oblivious to the fact that others may not want to here her conversation.
• The screech of the airline employee blasting something unintelligible over the loud speaker is minimized so that I won't require a visit to an audiologist afterward to get checked for permanent damage.
• Constantly scanning the overcrowded, not-enough-seats in the seating area to ensure that there are no elderly or physically challenged travelers who needs my seat more than I do.  Maybe I could actually relax in my seat and not feel so guilty that I actually have a seat.
• Soothing aromas would immediately begin to push out the anxious thoughts of flying or being in a plane with a gabillion people or the swine flu and the bummer that no one is wearing masks.  
• Earthy, world music would be settling weary hearts down instead of the hard rap music that's blasting distorted bass through that guy's headphones that he's sharing with a few of us that are seated around him.
• Inviting ergonomic chaise lounges with freshly laundered blankets so that you could stretch out before you get cramped into tiny, hard spaces on the plane that, more likely than not, have someone who will spill over onto my side and take the armrest plus a few more inches. 

If you'd like to contribute to the Spa Spot please let me know and we'll begin to move forward with negotiations. ;)

So, now I'm off.  Ready to brave another travel experience that hopefully will go without mention.  Well...past those things that I've already mentioned.  *snicker*  

Signed...the not-so-glamorous, not flying the friendly-anything skies,

me.  c u smyle. ;)

Loss

When I heard the news, I completely cocooned myself with the information as I grasped and struggled and tried to make my way through the emotions of how to comprehend such loss.  You see, one of the guys who my family has had in our lives for a number of years, now a junior in high school, just lost his parents in a car accident.  In just one second, he became a family of one.  

And...I am grieving for him. 

And...I'm sad that I can't be there to hug him, or to hold his hand or to tell him just how hard it is to watch his heart hurt.  I'm sad I can't be there to help hold his head up so that he could breathe his next breath despite the enormity of his loss.  

And...then, I had to let Theatre Dude know what had happened.  A conversation within text, a very long three thousand miles away and I let out a heart-sigh when I realized we received the information at about the same time and, of course, Theatre Dude had already contacted him...letting him know we loved him.

And...now, a few days later, I'm faced with making decisions and putting a plan of action in place should a potential event like this happen in my own family; especially given our high risk situation of Coastal Craziness.  

And...as sad as this post is, I hope that you will join me and put a plan of action in place as well.  

 

Prevailing Winds

It may seem like I've been quiet.

It may even seem like I've been missing.

But, it's only because I've been caught up and tossed about in the prevailing winds of the Coastal Craziness once again.  I've had you on my mind and wanted to write to fill you in on all that's happened in the past few days and even wow you with stories but...well, ... that darned time zone change gets me every time.  

Maybe I'll just give you a few of the more dramatic highlights of the past few days so at least you'll get the gist of how my world was before I left Virginia. Or, maybe I should say you'll get the gist of how crazed I was. ;)

In the middle of an overloaded to-do list and with no time to spare, I locked myself out of the house just hours before my flight took off.  Desperate for help, I had to wait outside for about 20 minutes before the realtor came to my rescue.  It seems that I had forgotten that I gave him my house key to put in the lock box and no longer had the key on my key ring. {{oops}}

But, a funny memory popped into my head from last year as I waited to be rescued. ;)

/div>

But, wait...I had no time for memories.  I had to get moving!  

task. check mark! next?

pant....pant....pant

"Newton...get in your crate", I shouted!

Newton likes his travel crate so I thought it would be a much easier time than when Copernicus flew last year. It was easier getting Newton in the crate to go but he was pretty vocal up front about his lack of luxurious travel accommodations.  Pampered puppy!

So, we get to the airport...check Newton as baggage because of a mix-up that caused him to be on a plane separate from mine.  Um, precious baggage, please! ;)

The good news is that we arrived in Silicon Valley with no issues and I ran (ok, walked fast) to see Mr. Smart Guy!!  

And, I made it just in time for our anniversary!

... and then we, Newton and I, crashed!  We slept and slept and slept and... slept some more.

We all settled in and it felt strangely familiar to me as though I had never left California.  Mr. Smart Guy went to work, Newton was happily tired after a walk and then I ventured out to get some groceries and ... sticker shock!  I had forgotten how expensive things are in this state and that the sales tax was just raised to 9.25%.  (a small side note...the sales tax in Virginia is a paltry 5%)

I had so much fun in the grocery store though that I forgot that we lived in an apartment and had to park in an underground garage and had to take an elevator to our level and had to haul said such purchases to the apartment.  

But, fear not....I got a system for that! 

After I unpacked the groceries and started to fold up the reusable bags I realized the middle bag was surely representative of my vagabound lifestyle:

what goes around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around....

The Trek: Day Seven in Albuquerque NM

A day of driving

from here to there

An endless sight

with nothing to share

A photo, perhaps

to say we stayed

But that's really all of

the impression made.

The Trek: Day Six in Wichita Falls, TX

The beauty of Texas and the variety of sights made driving across the massive state very enjoyable and quite entertaining.  Some sights were expected:  small working oil wells scattered across acres of flat and dry land, bulls with strong horns that curled upward from their faces as they grazed on sparse vegetation and the many roads that seemed to have no destination at all but collided with the horizon at some unknown point as they disappeared.

Other sights, however, were totally unexpected and took me by surprise:  cotton fields blanketed in white waiting to be harvested and other fields that were just harvested with bales upon bales of bundled up white towers scattered the area, wind turbines that spun rapidly in a juxtaposed position of eco-friendliness against the more well-known oil rigs and the most beautiful wide open sky that seemed to span forever as it danced with different colors and shapes.

Tumbleweeds proved to be vicious as they made their way across the highway with veritable force from the non-stop wind.  And, then....

In the end, Mr. Smart Guy had one of the thorns plucked out and we journeyed down the road without further incident.   ;)

The Trek: Day Three in Gulfport, MS

The chilly morning greeted us with frost as we ventured outside to load our luggage back into the car.  It was so cold that the family dog Sara, curled up and nestled into a pile of leaves, chose to stay put rather than brave the air to get up and bid us farewell.  Hugs, love expressed and coffee cups in hand, we had to say goodbye.  We meandered slowly down the dirt road away from the house waving goodbye to Meme and Papa as they stood pressed against the storm door waving back at us.

A long day in the car toured us through Atlanta, GA which was chaotic at best and insane at worst.  The multitude of red strings representing major highways jumbled across the gps screen as we tried to navigate our way through the intertwined superstructures without incident.

We made our way out of the city intact, headed west and caught the cheapest gas sign we've seen so far.  The gas station, while not confirmed, was most probably photographed in some city, Alabama.

Eventually, and I do mean eventually, we arrived in Gulport, MS!  We unpacked quickly and met up with our dinner guests in the hotel lobby and sped off to dinner with them.  I was so delighted to see my friends, so caught up in the joy of the evening, that I actually forgot to take a photo of us together.  (Crazy, I know! Unlike me...totally!)

Ahh...but we're here for the night.

The Trek: Day Two

Being around Mr. Smart Guy's family lets me take a sneak peek into the past and hear great tales of his childhood ways and dreams.  It's a treat for me to sleep in his old bedroom, now turned guest room, and hear him recount the many nights he spent as a young boy staring at the ceiling pondering his future, considering the next days fun or just plain staring into the darkness of the night.  

A young boy then, a man now, who resembles his father in so many ways: humor, gentleness, a strong work ethic, kindness and a guiding desire to do the right thing.    

But, the highlight of the visit proved to be audio cassettes that were recorded in 1974 and unearthed for our listening pleasure.  Mr. Smart Guy's mom had recorded family activities and then sent them to his dad who was away on duty in the United States Navy.  Parents, siblings, nieces and nephews gathered around the cassette player and chuckled at the crazy antics, the chaos of dinner conversations and the funny banter as the four kids were getting ready for school.  I hear the voice of my husband at age 11 and can hear the man he was becoming.  What a sweet gift that we hope to digitize and pass on to our boys some day.

Our visit sped by much too fast with lots of hugs, coffee and conversations around the kitchen table.  The packed bags are waiting by the doorway. The next stop on our trek...the gulf coast of Mississippi.  

The Trek: Day One

Day One began in our driveway with both of us near exhaustion.  The past few weeks have really taken a toll on us physically and emotionally.  Lots of packing, shifting, moving, hugging and goodbye'ing. (I know, go with it...it's my own word! lol)

We loaded our destination into the gps and climbed into the Prius and began the first leg of our journey cross-country. We laughed at how loaded our car was, how tired we were and how the coastal craziness is giving us such a burst of excitement.

Rock Hill, SC....here we come!

Coastal Craziness - The Beginning

In the beginning...

Mr. Smart Guy and Ms. c u smyle met and fell in love in Seattle, WA.  Both of them claimed the Pacific Northwest as "home" and were happy in that part of the world.  They went about life amidst the misty rainfall and majestic mountains. They were a West Coast couple.

However, career opportunities came quickly for the newly engaged couple and Richmond, VA became the new home.  A spot on the map that they have called "home" for a very long time. Married, kids, jobs, homes...and community.  They went about life amidst the light seasonal changes and nestled themselves two hours away from the mountains, the nation's capital and the scent of the ocean breeze.  A perfect location.  They were an East Coast couple.

But, career opportunities came knocking once more.  The couple received news that  the layoff would take place in January '09, they had gotten a phone call that beckoned Mr. Smart Guy to join the ranks of technology creators in Silicon Valley, went about the decision making process, worked together to identify all aspects of the choice, adopted a healthy mantra for the upcoming change and readied themselves to announce the decision.  

They are going to California.... 

 (insert screeching halt sound now)

well...sort of.

Theatre Dude is a junior in high school and Mr. and Mrs. Smart Guy have chosen not to yank him out of school at such a critical time.  He just started the process of college interviews and applications and has community in Virginia.  His eyes have been set on Broadway for a very long time. He is an East Coast guy.

So, the family got a little creative and moved outside the traditional description of home.  Mr. Smart Guy will live in California, Theatre Dude will live in Virginia (with very close grown up supervision) and Mrs. c u smyle will navigate life between them.  She has agreed to a vagabond lifestyle.  A few weeks here, a few weeks there.  

~ a vagabond with lots of frequent flyer miles ~