Giving

I saw him from a distance with a small cardboard sign in his hand even though I couldn't make out what he had written on it.  He reminded me of that man I saw in San Francisco a few months ago.   This man, though, stood facing the cars that were coming in the opposite direction of where I was waiting at a stoplight. I watched him hold the sign up gingerly and wait patiently. And, I thought... 

• He looks pretty clean and well kept for a street beggar.
  
• His shoes were in fairly decent shape which is odd.
  
• His clothing wasn't ripped nor earth stained, both of which are indicators of a homeless lifestyle.
  

I thought to myself, "Well, he doesn't look that poor so I guess I won't give him any money." And, then... I remembered what I read yesterday!

"Who are you to pass judgement on the servant of another?  It is before his own master that he stands or falls.  And he will be upheld for the Lord is able to make him stand." Romans 14:4

I was embarrassed and humiliated by how quick I was to judge this man, this stranger, as though God needed me to decide if the man was poor enough for my standards to receive my help.  Gosh, moments like this one can be so heart leveling and I was leveled!  I was reminded that we all need help in one way or another and it is not our place to decide the worthiness of the recipient but to always be ready to love and to give what we can every chance we get.

Well, the light turned green and I pulled up to Starbucks to get my coffee.  I thought about giving that man on the corner some money, now that my heart was in the right place,  but I didn't have any cash on me at all. Well, lo and behold, I was getting my debit card out of my wallet and peeking out of one of the pockets was the corner of a $20 bill!  A miracle really because I had no idea it was there.  So, I decided to pay for my coffee with the cash and then give the man on the corner the rest of the change.

In order to make my way to the side of the intersection that he was on, I needed to go out of my way and not go directly on the path that would take me to my next destination.  To say the least, I was inconvenienced.  And, so it goes with giving to others.  There should be lots of times when our giving is inconvenient and sacrificial and done with honor towards another.  It moves our motives for giving to be in the place it's supposed to be .... in loving our neighbor more than ourselves.

I weaved through the parking lot to get to the corner that the man was standing on and pulled into the lane nearest him.  I rolled down my window and waved at him.  Thankfully, he saw me and began to make his way towards me.  And, I thought ....

• His skin looks so weathered and dried out.
• His walk shows a lopsided gait that favored one side.
• He had been crying and I saw the shame in his eyes.

I put the dollar bills in his hand and he could barely speak as I greeted him with a "good morning".  He said softly, "It will be now".  

And, at that moment, I was reminded that I'm never too busy or overwhelmed to help someone. 

I pray tonight that he finds shelter, food, friendship and that when you see him ... you'll give much more freely to him than I did.