For Everything

My blog has served to be a window to my writer-soul and has allowed creative expression of so many things inside of me. I have crafted memories here on the cyber pages of C U SMYLE. It's been a refreshing way to get to meet new people and grow as a writer and a reader. But, as with everything in life, there comes a time for change. And, while it saddens me to say goodbye, I realize that the time has come to close the blog.

Thank you so much for your readership, comments and encouragement. You've made this such a fun project! ;)

*** *** ***

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Close

You know when there's that thing out there that you just know if you could get close enough to it it would be so life-changing?

....I'm getting close.

I hope to tell you about it soon. In the meantime, Happy Monday, friends. ;)

A One Minute Post

I love the The One-Minute Writer site and I often use it as a quick, fun creative outlet. I haven't had much time to post here lately but I wanted to share with you a response I wrote to one of the prompts on that site.

The prompt: Create a pick-up line.

And, so ....

Did you see that?

Did you see how quickly I went from so-put-together and confident woman to the giddy, awkward, omg I need to talk to you kind-of-girl when you walked into the room?

Please tell me that I can relax now while you buy me a drink?

I should have used that when I met Mr. Smart Guy! But, instead, I was falling all over myself with this weird nervousness and the inability to create logical sentences. lol Thank goodness he liked me anyway! ;)

Happy Monday

Monday I rise

with sleep in my eyes

ready to face the day!

No plans made yet

I'm ready to let

The hours have their way!

I hope to be

a girl - carefree

Allowing joy to stay!

Sweet peace and love

a day that's full of

Contentment all my day!

Have a happy Monday, my friend! ;)

Looking Forward

What's your light at the end of the tunnel?

Calling All Botanists!

Can you name this plant?

It looks and feels similar to an aloe vera plant but in a smaller, wider version.

It was discovered on an impromptu yet hilarious trip to Santa Cruz, CA yesterday. Copernicus was actually the first one to investigate the plant or ground cover or whatever it is because it was everywhere! He was in search of a place to go, if you know what I mean, and he was having a difficult time because California landscape is not what he's used to and change is not his forte.

So with all the business out of the way, we stopped for a few photo opportunities.

We were thrilled that we got to fit another hot spot into her vacation! But, we only had 15 minutes to be there and had to come back to catch her flight. So...

On the way back through the windy, curvy, hilly, oh-no-it's-nauseating trip, my eyes started watering. One eye started twitching. And, then, it was full blown allergic reaction.

My eyes swelled. My throat was tight. I felt like I was going to pass out.

After grabbing two Benadryl's and a shower, I started to stabilize. I am still feeling some after effects today but ....

I really need to know what the plant is. And, I promise, I won't touch it ever again! lol ;)

*** Just a quick update ***

My mom, a long-time Californian, let me in on what this disastrous plant is. It's called California Ice Plant and now I shall forever stay away from it. Thanks, Mom!

God Bless the USA

We already know what will happen.

In just a few hours, we'll head out to enjoy our local AAA team's baseball game.

We will cheer our team on with lots of oohs and shouts! We'll eat lots and lots of food! We'll get to know the new players and guess at whether they'll be any good. Innings will pass.

...and hopefully, we will have won.

But as soon as the game ends, the fireworks display will begin. He'll take my hand and we'll sing. We'll sing loud and with all our hearts. We'll sing because we both believe in freedom and liberty. We 'll look at each other with thankful eyes that we have had the honor of defending those very things.

...and, like always, I will start to cry.

The fireworks display and blasting patriotic songs will stir up my patriotism. For it is truer than true, tears will spill down my cheeks as I sing along with a stadium full of people to Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA, and I will mean every word I sing!

...I will gladly stand up,

next to you

and defend her still today.

For there ain't no doubt,

I love this land....

God bless the USA!

Round and Round

.... or what caption would you use to describe it?

Clah-Clunk

I put the key into the lock, took a deep breath ... and twisted it to the right.  

The clah-clunk of the releasing mechanism announced that I could enter while the smallest of squeaks emanated from the front door when I pushed it open and stepped inside the foyer.  

I was there for one fairly straightforward and simple reason; to make one last walk-through in the house to make sure we hadn't left anything behind before I signed the documents that transferred ownership to the new owners. But, instead....just as quickly as I entered the foyer, grief came tumbling all around me and memories streamed through my mind's eye and I was drenched in sobbing breaths and fast, salty tears that were a torrent down my cheeks.  

I stepped onto the carpeted stairs and moved one slow, heavy foot up the steps in front of the other until I got to our bedroom and stopped.  I stood in the center of the room, admiring the calming celery green color that Mr. Smart Guy had picked for the wall paint, and I listened. 

And ... 

I heard us talking about and praying for our boys over the years.  I heard us maturing and figuring out how to love each other better.  I heard the last conversation we had in this room finalizing the Coastal Craziness plan and how we knew it would be hard but we knew it was the right choice.  

But, as I stood there, I don't think either one of us knew the depths of difficulty and the emotional toll it would take on us.  I closed the doors quietly shut on the room and turned down the hallway.

**sigh**

I went to the laundry room, still able to smell the fresh linen scent and I watched.

I watched Army Guy, in for the weekend from Virginia Tech, grab his clothes off the clothes rack and head off to put them away.  I saw Dan the Man open the dryer in search of his then-favorite shirt at the time to see if it was clean yet so he could wear it.  I heard Theatre Dude yelling from the laundry room to see if I had washed and/or dried all of his guitar picks that might have been in his jeans pocket when I did laundry 'cause he couldn't find any of his picks.  And, I could see each of our puppies on their first day with us and how we lovingly set up their crated homes in the laundry room.  

I stepped outside of the laundry room and stood on the landing and just looked at all of the open bedroom doors and both of the stairways that went downstairs.  None of the rooms were ever just one boys room.  The rooms have always been interchangeable and have morphed into whatever our family needs were at the time.  

And, I saw them become ...

bedrooms, offices, music rooms, guest rooms, reading rooms, foster guy rooms, Katrina family rooms and ... anyone who needed a safe place to stay for the night away from the chaos of their life kinda rooms.  

And, I could feel my heart swell with love for each person that has been in our home.  I pray that their memories of staying here have made a small but lasting difference in their life.

I began to descend the steps into the living room that opened up with the kitchen.  I could already see the many ...

birthday bashes, cancer-free celebrations, chick nights at the house, Prom pictures, Superbowl parties, Smart Guy and his friends discussing their conspiracy theories, the movies we've watched, Homecoming nights, and, most importantly and most heartwarming, the conversations we've had.  The talks of politics and current events and shopping finds and new recipes and cool new bands and rock concerts and heartbreaks and conflict and careers and purity and freedom and boundaries and love and God.

Lastly, I stood in the foyer. I thought about how many times in the past years I had stood in that very spot saying hello or goodbye to people I love. And, even though I was still sobbing, a smile began to emerge on on my face.  

My family has lived a lot of life within these walls.  

I put the key into the lock, took a deep breath ... and twisted it to the left.  

The clah-clunk of the locking mechanism announced that the door was indeed locked and I was no longer permitted to enter.  

And, now it's their house.  

They don't know it but I prayed for them while I walked into each room of the house.  I asked God that he would bless their family with the fullness of love and joy that we have found while we lived here.  I asked that their pantry would always be full and they would not be hungry beyond their means.  I prayed that their children would find friends in the neighborhood and that they would love going to school and learning.  I prayed for the marriage ... that it would only get better in the years that they call this house their home.  

Giving

I saw him from a distance with a small cardboard sign in his hand even though I couldn't make out what he had written on it.  He reminded me of that man I saw in San Francisco a few months ago.   This man, though, stood facing the cars that were coming in the opposite direction of where I was waiting at a stoplight. I watched him hold the sign up gingerly and wait patiently. And, I thought... 

• He looks pretty clean and well kept for a street beggar.
  
• His shoes were in fairly decent shape which is odd.
  
• His clothing wasn't ripped nor earth stained, both of which are indicators of a homeless lifestyle.
  

I thought to myself, "Well, he doesn't look that poor so I guess I won't give him any money." And, then... I remembered what I read yesterday!

"Who are you to pass judgement on the servant of another?  It is before his own master that he stands or falls.  And he will be upheld for the Lord is able to make him stand." Romans 14:4

I was embarrassed and humiliated by how quick I was to judge this man, this stranger, as though God needed me to decide if the man was poor enough for my standards to receive my help.  Gosh, moments like this one can be so heart leveling and I was leveled!  I was reminded that we all need help in one way or another and it is not our place to decide the worthiness of the recipient but to always be ready to love and to give what we can every chance we get.

Well, the light turned green and I pulled up to Starbucks to get my coffee.  I thought about giving that man on the corner some money, now that my heart was in the right place,  but I didn't have any cash on me at all. Well, lo and behold, I was getting my debit card out of my wallet and peeking out of one of the pockets was the corner of a $20 bill!  A miracle really because I had no idea it was there.  So, I decided to pay for my coffee with the cash and then give the man on the corner the rest of the change.

In order to make my way to the side of the intersection that he was on, I needed to go out of my way and not go directly on the path that would take me to my next destination.  To say the least, I was inconvenienced.  And, so it goes with giving to others.  There should be lots of times when our giving is inconvenient and sacrificial and done with honor towards another.  It moves our motives for giving to be in the place it's supposed to be .... in loving our neighbor more than ourselves.

I weaved through the parking lot to get to the corner that the man was standing on and pulled into the lane nearest him.  I rolled down my window and waved at him.  Thankfully, he saw me and began to make his way towards me.  And, I thought ....

• His skin looks so weathered and dried out.
• His walk shows a lopsided gait that favored one side.
• He had been crying and I saw the shame in his eyes.

I put the dollar bills in his hand and he could barely speak as I greeted him with a "good morning".  He said softly, "It will be now".  

And, at that moment, I was reminded that I'm never too busy or overwhelmed to help someone. 

I pray tonight that he finds shelter, food, friendship and that when you see him ... you'll give much more freely to him than I did.

Change #1

It happened innocently enough. 

There was no motive behind my purchase other than I was out of reading material and needed a new book.  I mean, I had heard a few people talk about it in the past and they raved about how it radically changed them for the better. The topic didn't fall within my normally sought after genres that I bury myself in but, still ... I picked it up off the shelf even though I cringed at the crude and brash title. 

Skinny (insert the letter that comes after A and before C) itch. 

It was the subtitle that got me (like they always do). 

"A no-nonsense, tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous".

Ok, I do! 

 I bought it.  

I saw me in the subtitle.  

Don't hand me "soft" and "easy" but give it to me straight!  

It did ... and I will never be the same again.

Here's what happened.  I read the book and within hours was completely horrified at the way I've been eating or, to be more exact, at the nonexistent attention that I have given to what I've been eating. No, I'm not talking protein, carbs and fat content here or diet mamby-shmamby... I am talking - where did the food come from in the first place and what is the process of how it gets to my dinner plate.  

The book has a lot of spicy language with some funny jabs at the reader to keep it pretty sassy.  But, the big deal for me, was the book made me stop and really think about the statement - you are what you eat.  And, I realized I was eating crap!

 

So, I've made one radical change, Change #1, with a few others up my sleeve in the upcoming weeks and I'll keep you posted.  

Hang on to your forks and knives, friends, because .... (light drum roll, please)

I am now a vegetarian.  

Or, as Mr. Smart Guy laughed and said, "veg-a-freak-0"! 

Here's why and I've listed the page numbers of the book if ya wanna check it out for yourself:

• The USDA does NOT protect the population with pure motives and is untrustworthy.  "Many high-ranking staff members at the USDA were employed by, or are otherwise affiliated with, the meat and dairy industries.  And if the group responsible for the safety of meat, poultry and egg products is run by people from the same  industries they're supposed to be protecting us from...well, that would be a conflict of interest.  And it is. An enormous, ridiculous, outrageous, catastrophic conflict of interest." (p93)  
• The EPA is allowing us to eat an insecticidal protein deemed unsafe for human consumption.  "But the Environmental Protection Agency allows the use of StarLink for livestock feed.  Let humans eat the animals who ate the corn?  That's safe? Duh." (p110)
• The meat we put on our table most likely came from a slaughterhouse. "Humane protocol calls for animals to be "stunned" before they are slaughtered.  For cows, this means getting a metal bolt shot into the skull and then retracted.  When done properly, using working equipment, this renders the cow unconscious.  But time is money, and slaughterhouses operate at lighting speeds, some killing one animal every three seconds.  Because thousands of frightened, struggling cows are not easy to stun, it is extremely common for a "stunner" to miss his mark.  Panicked hogs, also difficult to "hit", are stunned with an electric device." (p66)   The book goes on to explain the disturbing "bleed rail", hogs thrown into 140-degree scalding water to remove the hair from their bodies, and chickens with their beaks literally chopped off their faces so that won't peck each other and workers because of stress.
• You are what you eat.  "Assuming you started with a healthy animal (highly unlikely), you've now eaten hormones, pesticides, steroids, antibiotics, fear, grief, and rage.  You are what you eat." (P77)
• Antibiotics are not an appealing appetizer. "Half of the antibiotics made in the United States each year are administered to farm animals, causing antibiotic resistance in the humans who eat them.  A study at the University of California-Berkely linked eating beef to urinary tract infections (UTIs) in women.  It just so happens that the most common infectious disease in women is UTIs.  You do the math. (p45)  

... and there's so much more information in the book!  I know some of it's pretty gross...but I hope you'll think about what you're eating today.  

Remember, you are what you eat.

Signed with love,

~ a one-week vegetarian ~

Happy, er...Crappy Birthday

It began to rise 

Within its confines

Swelling past the edge 

Then spilling over

Into one tear

That turned into many

Forming a river

Of sadness

... and it was a Happy, er .... Crappy Birthday!

Phobias

Today, I'm immersed in a different kind of "Dust Covered and Discouraged". Instead of choosing and tossing garments in my closet...I've moved on to the garage and am making different piles this time:

Keep ... Junk ... Goodwill ... Need Mr. Smart Guy to Choose

So, as I've been adding stuff to heaps and mounds of piles,  I happened across yet another can of bug spray! 

Oh, they're not mine .... they are Mr. Smart Guys!  He is the one who has a bee/wasp/hornet/anything-that-buzzes-nearby phobia as is evidenced by my garage findings.  I collected ALL of the cans and just smiled because of a funny memory; I remembered a time early in our marriage when we had pulled up to a fast-food drive through.  He was driving and placed our order and then coasted up to the pickup window when, all of a sudden  ........

he freaked out!!

And, it was just as he was handing me my drink.

He jumped out of the car and started waving his arms around like a crazy man while I was dealing with a spilled drink all over me.  Can't you just see the chaos that ensued after that? lol

Hmm...maybe I should have put a can of spray in the car? ;)

A Pictorial

Prom 2009

Prom 2009

Prom 2009 - The SWAG

A Letter

Strawberry Picking & Eating

First Hike of Spring

So Much Water

Spring!

Spring Musical - GREASE!

Theatre Dude's Solo "Hand Jive"

Hats?

I wonder...how many hats are you wearing in a 24-hour period?

Let me know in the comments section or even on your own blog (just be sure to let me know that's where your answer is).  I'll give you a peek inside my current wardrobe changes, if you'd like ...

• Real estate negotiator (we're in the final details of having a signed contract)
• Dog trainer (for the last time, Copernicus, leave the rug alone!)
• Contract bidder (how much will it cost to have a condensation drain line extended?)
• Mean mom (no, you may not wear "sag".  I don't care if it's cool. NO!)
• Chef (vegetable soup and a loaf of homemade bread)
• Model (subject of an already-late photo project at school)
• Maid (dishes, laundry, floors...spotless!)
• Cheerleader (for my favorite on The Biggest Loser)
• Writer (stretching it a bit but maybe "blogger" would be more accurate)
• Scheduler (hair, guidance counselor, vet appointment, doctor appointment)
• Crawl space dweller (braving the environment to prevent standing water)
• Taxi (I know you're late...ok, I'll take you to school)
• Wife (loving Mr. Smart Guy from afar)

...no wonder I'm tired!  ;)

Not so Glamorous

I just wanna rant a little so that I can dispel the myth that my current travel schedule is glamorous...just in case you were thinking that! lol ;)

As I sit in the airport this morning and wait to board my plane, I am keenly aware of the pain involved with flying.  There is a lack of seating that is woefully evident and not accommodating to the mass of travelers in this area.  It's a good thing I got here 2 hours early so that I could get a seat! ;)

Oh, wait...I just had a fabulous idea...."The Spa Spot".  Anyone want to throw in some venture capital monies toward my idea?  It would be a spa setting within the airport where passengers are allowed to peacefully wait for their departing flight at a cost-per-hour fee without:

• Listening to the extremely loud woman who is talking on her cell phone and can be heard by everyone within a 4-block radius.  And...she's totally oblivious to the fact that others may not want to here her conversation.
• The screech of the airline employee blasting something unintelligible over the loud speaker is minimized so that I won't require a visit to an audiologist afterward to get checked for permanent damage.
• Constantly scanning the overcrowded, not-enough-seats in the seating area to ensure that there are no elderly or physically challenged travelers who needs my seat more than I do.  Maybe I could actually relax in my seat and not feel so guilty that I actually have a seat.
• Soothing aromas would immediately begin to push out the anxious thoughts of flying or being in a plane with a gabillion people or the swine flu and the bummer that no one is wearing masks.  
• Earthy, world music would be settling weary hearts down instead of the hard rap music that's blasting distorted bass through that guy's headphones that he's sharing with a few of us that are seated around him.
• Inviting ergonomic chaise lounges with freshly laundered blankets so that you could stretch out before you get cramped into tiny, hard spaces on the plane that, more likely than not, have someone who will spill over onto my side and take the armrest plus a few more inches. 

If you'd like to contribute to the Spa Spot please let me know and we'll begin to move forward with negotiations. ;)

So, now I'm off.  Ready to brave another travel experience that hopefully will go without mention.  Well...past those things that I've already mentioned.  *snicker*  

Signed...the not-so-glamorous, not flying the friendly-anything skies,

me.  c u smyle. ;)

A Night Owl in the Making

Once upon a time, ms. c u smyle loved to get up early in the morning.  She believed in the saying that, "the early bird catches the worm".  Not that she wanted a worm at all but she loved getting up while everyone else was sleeping and the house was quiet. She rose before the sun came up and happily went about her day's work until nightfall.  

But, then, as soon as the sun went down and the moon dared to flicker in the sky, ms. c u smyle would become tired.  So tired that she typically would be fully asleep by 10:00pm at the latest. Alas, ms. c u smyle was always the girl to end the night before everyone else in the house.

But, then ... the prevailing winds blew her into a new rhythm of sleeping patterns.  Gone was the girl who accomplished at least 50 things before 8am and, instead, a new girl emerged who barely can crawl out of bed before 9am.  

Who is this girl?  

Mmph!  I guess she's a night owl in the making! ;)

In This World

Monumental things are breaking around my house at warp speed and, unfortunately, there’s not much I can do about it but add more to-do items to the task list that I’m already frantically trying to finish before I leave for the West Coast.  I even adopted a new code phrase that speaks volumes about what’s happening around me, “garage door”.  The code emerged from a dire situation the other day and is indicative of the pace I’m running around here.  I was leaving the house and closed the automatic garage door that … well, was not so much automatic anymore and did nothing when I pressed the button. 

AaRrrghghh!!! Garage door!!

I growled, exasperated, because it wasn’t so much that something else broke or needed attention but more that it would take so much more energy and phone calls and appointments to get it fixed.  And…..I’m running out of time!! 

And then, just when this huge amount of pressure began to mount in my chest and my breathing began to simulate a chick in labor…I had a startling and not-so-great revelation.  

I have been acting as though I am entitled to a day without frustration or opposition or challenge.  I have been caught up in my own whirlwind of need and letting childlike temper tantrums erupt when things don't go my way.  

I can’t help but wonder when did this entitlement attitude creep into my being because I know better! I know this... 

 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  John 16:17 NIV

So, as I was contemplating my response to my to-do list, I had a nature-friend come visit me on the windshield as I drove. 

...and, I was reminded to gaze upon the beauty and newness that each day brings.

In this world, garage doors will break, glasses will be sat on and electronic things won't work when you really, really need them to.  It's part of the plan, I guess.  How else did Jesus know to tell us that we will have trouble?  How else would he know we would need encouragement when we faced trouble?  

So, take heart with me, my friends, we know one who has overcome the world.

... and don't forget to breathe normally. lol ;)

It's done! 

I've done everything that I could possibly do to prepare our house to sell and am excited that as of April 1st.. it's officially "on the market".  I've claimed this weekend a celebration and rest and as such, I headed off to one of my favorite spots.

I bounced into the library to pick up a few new goodies and nearly jumped out of my own skin with excitement when I saw the poster announcing my local branch now carries Blu-Ray movies!!  While I didn't see any that I was interested in, I did happen to pick up quite a stack of dvd movies.  I love my library...books, movies, magazines...learning and culture... all available at my fingertips!

I can't believe how much money I am saving by utilizing free resources.  

It's a weekend of Johnny Depp's biography, Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, Corrie Ten Boom's story in The Hiding Place and a host of others that are sure to be entertaining and enlightening.

Ahhh...I'm really ready to take a rest. Popcorn, anyone?  ;)

Is it Just Me?

Wait...it's an honest question and one that I posed to myself as I organized the contents of my dresser.  

Is it just me or are my underwear too tight? 

Before you think it's TMI and turn away, I promise not to divulge any personal, non-fit issues ok?  But, here's my dilemma:

same brand + same size + same style = not the same fit! 

I demand to know what is happening in the undergarment industry!  Are there no quality control standards?  I think the proof is in my drawers (so to speak). 

If I were scientifically minded and wanted to pose a hypothesis I would probably frame the statement around a gender issue.  The guys in my home (and when they were still at home) don't have this issue at all.  They buy a 3-pack of the same brand, same style and voila!  No complaints from them.  

It must be a chick thing.

Anyway, I sorted through the drawer agonizing over the newly erected "to go" pile and now looking at the much smaller "keep" pile.  I added up the approximate cost of the "to go" pile and wanted to scream!  **aaggghhhh** (yelled really, really loud!)

What's a chick to do?  

** sigh**